A little while back I went to the store with my mom to pick up a new planner for 2020. Never before has a simple planner affected me so much. I began to look back on the year that has just ended, and I looked over the empty pages waiting to be filled. God did so many amazing things last year, and I cannot wait to see what he does this year! It seemed like I did so many things last year, and I am sure I will do much more this year.
Recently I have been spending a lot of time waiting for God to reveal the next steps. This has included school, building relationships, learning through opportunities at my church, and reading lots of helpful resources (Half Price Books has been my friend!). This season has looked a lot different than other waiting seasons because a lot has changed since I have been in the United States. Some of my closest friends that were in Houston when I left are no longer in Houston. Having my days mostly spent at home has been driving me crazy. I went from doing 7 weeks of camps in two different countries (with every day looking completely different than the next) to having nothing but the same, over and over again. It has certainly been hard, but I am hopeful for what comes after the waiting.
Sometimes I feel like waiting for God can be like a held breath. When you breathe in to the fullest capacity and let the tension build up and up, the release can be so beautiful and satisfying. The excitement that is caused from that build up can be exhilarating, but it can also be painful too. I imagine entering Heaven is like that release of tension that we get when we exhale a held breath. My challenge to myself has been this: Am I excited about the release at the end of the tension? or am I focused on the pain before the release? I hope that this can challenge you as well.
With the new year, my Bible reading plan started over and yesterday I read Matthew 1-3. What I was most struck by in this passage was the obedience demonstrated by Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men, and John the Baptist. Each individual was in an uncomfortable situation, yet they still chose to be obedient to the Lord. Mary was somehow pregnant, Joseph was hesitant to marry Mary, the Wise Men were probably busy, and John the Baptized was unworthy of baptizing Jesus- AND YET they did what God called them to do. Rather than focusing on the tension they were feeling because of their situation, they blindly obeyed God in anticipation of the release. I hope that someday I can have the faith to follow God in an uncomfortable situation because a faith that cannot be tested cannot be trusted.
As I walk into the new year, I am excited to see the opportunities that God lays out before me. Please be praying that God will use me to make an impact for his kingdom wherever I am, and that this year would bring about new beginnings. I will be praying that God will use this year to grow you closer to him in both the good and the bad.